UniBrow

The other day, in a post about Michele Bachmann, I used the term “Christianist.” It’s a useful coinage of Andrew Sullivan’s, and it refers to the overweening influence of (mainly evangelical) Christianity in American politics. Bachmann, who says God told her to run for Congress, who in consequence of her faith is pleased to spread demonstrable falsehoods such as the patent absurdity that there is some controversy among scientists about the validity of evolution, whose faith places her in opposition to stem-cell research–meaning she believes that actual people suffering from diabetes, Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s, spinal-cord damage, and any number of other debilitating or excruciating disorders must continue to suffer rather than trespass on the ”right to life” of a blastocyst, an insentient cluster of 150 undifferentiated cells–is obviously one instance of it. Another is Jim Weidmann, vice chairman of the National Day of Prayer Task Force and an engine of its “Pray for Election Day” campaign, who said: “In a Christian nation, we have the biblical responsibility as well as the patriotic responsibility to cast our vote for those who govern us. We want people to spend time praying that those who are elected will align themselves with God’s laws. We also want them to get out and vote so the Christian understanding is captured in the vote.”

So it’s refreshing, greeted as we are at every turn with the preposterous claim that America was conceived as a Christian nation, to see this column in the Oct. 22 New York Times about electoral politics and evangelical Christians. Here’s the first paragraph:

Not since the medieval church baptized, as it were, Aristotle as some sort of early–very early–church father has there been an intellectual hijacking as audacious as the attempt to present America’s principal founders as devout Christians. Such an attempt is now in high gear among people who argue that the founders were kindred spirits with today’s evangelicals, and that they founded a “Christian nation.”

Yes, yes, I know. The New York Times is the Pretorian Guard of the Liberal Media. To what filthy lie wouldn’t it stoop in order to stay on top of its subject peoples? But it so happens that the author of this fine declaration is conservative pundit George Will–and it was Sullivan, also a conservative and (by the way) a serious Roman Catholic, who quoted it with sympathy at The Daily Dish. And so along with the visage of Barry Goldwater, whose blunt denunciation of religious litmus tests for elected officials I quoted some time ago, I’m now chiseling the mugs of Sullivan and Will on my imaginary Mt. Rushmore of conservatives willing to acknowledge and invigilate the wall of separation between church and state. There are easier things, in the current environment, for figures on the right than to take a position like this.

Rule No. 34:

It is good manners to prefer them to whom we speak before ourselves, especially if they be above us with whom in no sort we ought to begin.

Chew on that for a while.

From an Oct. 22 Pioneer Press story headlined, “Michele Bachmann, John Binkowski and Patty Wetterling differ sharply on many issues”:

Wetterling wants to extend the planned Northstar commuter rail line from Big Lake to St. Cloud. Bachmann opposes the extension.

Which means You Know Who opposes the extension. I don’t live in Minnesota, and I’ve never been to either Big Lake or St. Cloud. But the Almighty is clearly not happy with St. Cloud. And if the Creator of the Universe has anything at all to say about what happens in the 6th Congressional District of Minnesota, there won’t be any commuter-rail line spreading the contagion of St. Cloudian moral degeneracy to Big Lake or to points south including Elk River, Anoka, Coon Rapids, and Fridley. No way, Chester. Just click on the map to see what’s at stake.

Binkowski is the independent, by the way.

Dogma–unreasoning, unbending certitude of whatever kind–is the fundamental evil. I dwell on religion only because it happens to be the most malignant, violent, and potentially catastrophic form of dogmatism loose in the world today. (Or so the godless liberal media have brainwashed me to believe.) But of course dogmatic savagery has been known to take secular forms as well. Andrew Sullivan linked yesterday to this clip from Jacob Bronowski’s documentary series The Ascent of Man that aired on the BBC in the 1970s–and which, I’m sorry to say, I’ve never seen. The Polish-born Bronowski was many things: a mathematician and statistician who later turned to biology, also a historian, philosopher, inventor, literary critic, and poet. With William Empson, he edited the literary journal Experiment in the 1920s when the two were still students at Cambridge University. Bronowski was one of the first Westerners in Nagasaki after the atomic blast, and he lost several family members in the Holocaust. This very moving clip, evidently the last moments of the 13-part series, is notable not only as a learned and eloquent personal testament to the evils of ideological dogmatism, but also for the humility with which Bronowski espouses reason and science–all the while making his way through the grounds of Auschwitz and eventually striding ankle-deep into a pond behind the crematorium in which the ashes of unimaginable numbers of victims were flushed. It’s an extraordinary moment.

Here’s an amusing article about the tax difficulties possibly in store for the Twin Cities pastor who endorsed GOP congressional candidate Michele Bachmann during her appearance before his megachurch congregation. (This is the talk in which Bachmann claimed she was told by God to run for Congress and described herself as a “fool for Christ.”) The only comment I can find from Bachmann herself on the matter is this non sequitur, quoted in the Minneapolis Star Tribune: “I am not ashamed of my faith. I’m happy to talk about my faith in front of church groups.” Now you might think a truly convincing display of Bachmann’s Christianist grit would require a more diverse audience. But, according to the Star Tribune, she sticks to a secular agenda of issues when her auditors aren’t assembled in pews, and she says she didn’t know she was being videotaped during the church appearance. In Michele Bachmann, in other words, we have a leader who refuses to back down in the face of implacable likemindedness, one who’s determined to withstand avalanches of agreement for the people of Minnesota’s 6th Congressional District.

Haven’t had one in a while. Rule No. 33:

They that are in dignity or in office have in all places precedency; but whilst they are young, they ought to respect those that are their equals in birth or other qualities, though they have no public charge.

No, wait. As it turneth out, thou shalt–if thou finds thine ass behind in the polls, and wobbleth before the divine injunction to which thou hast consecrated thine hopes for fame and worldly emolument. From the Minneapolis Star Tribune:

A misleading new ad by the Michele Bachmann congressional campaign is designed to make viewers think that Patty Wetterling favors cuts in the military budget and negotiations with the Taliban.

Wetterling says she favors neither. The Bachmann campaign has no evidence to the contrary.

UniBrow continues its fearless, blanket coverage of the House race in Minnesota’s 6th Congressional District by bringing you an illuminating candidate questionnaire courtesy of the Monticello (Minnesota) Times. The Times invited the nominees of both major parties to share their views and, should they have any, convictions on the major issues: those candidates, once again, being GOP aspirant Michele Bachmann, recruited into the race by Him Who is not moved, but moves, and Democrat Patty Wetterling, a high-school math teacher and proxy of the Beast. It turns out only Wetterling supplied answers to the questions; the Times was forced to cut and paste material from news articles and Bachmann’s website in order to represent her. No word on whether Bachmann blew off the questionnaire on the advice of the Diety.

Meanwhile, here’s more on Bachmann and her personal Rasputin, the Lord God Almighty. As I mentioned yesterday, she’s now behind in the polls, and in a way it will be a pity if she loses. One would naturally like to know which committee assignments the Way, the Truth, and the Light would advise her to seek, and what kind of a direct-mail fund-raising strategist He is.

As reported here (and elsewhere) a couple of days ago (and previously–by others), God has instructed born-again Christian Michele Bachmann to run for Congress in Minnesota’s 6th District. The Lord of Hosts was quite specific about the district. The 6th includes most or all of Benton, Sherburne, Stearns, Wright, Anoka, and Washington counties–some sweet, sweet real estate, in other words. The Alpha and the Omega ain’t gonna just hand all that over to Satan, baby.

But now it’s looking as though the Heavenly Father may just be spoiling for a laugh at Bachmann’s expense, or maybe He just isn’t the campaign tactician He thought He was. I cited a poll from mid-September that showed Bachmann, currently a state legislator in Minnesota, ahead of Democrat Patty Wetterling. A new poll puts Wetterling ahead, contrary to divine mandate. And if Bachmann loses, Minneapolis Star Tribune columnist Nick Coleman, for one, will miss her:

Bachmann is rich material, and is known for her controversial stance on outlawing gay marriage and her role in organizing pray-ins at the State Capitol. She once held hands in a prayer circle around the desk of an openly gay state senator. She was also caught spying on a Capitol gay rights rally while squatting behind a bush.

UniBrow is now officially and earnestly dialed in to Michele Bachmann. All the instruments are oiled and calibrated. So remember: your source for news about the micro-apocalypse in Minnesota’s 6th Congressional District is UniBrow, Jack!